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Ditch the Disposables

I'm getting all green over here!  I recycle, use mineral makeup, don't use shampoo, and now I have happy happy periods with my Divacup and Lunapads.  Hahaha, I'm such an infomercial, but girlkids, try em.


Josh Groban!!!

Ho Mi Gooooood!!!!!!!

So like, Josh Groban is like, singing at GM Place in Vancouver riiight? In August!

Yeah, so like Dad's girlfriend is also a Josh Groban fan so he went today and BOUGHT FUCKING TICKETS!

I'M GOING TO FUCKING JOSH GROBAN'S CONCERT IN AUGUST! BITCHES YEAH! I'm so fricken happy. I am just... totally not feeling anything other than abject incredulous delerium. I'm going to go to Vancouver and like, scream and cry and stuff.


Christian Bookstore Curses!

"I am so blogging this."

Those were my words to Alex after he and I left  Treasure House bookstore.  It's Christian.  They sell books and gifts and shirts and puzzles and cards and stuff.  This is a small town, so there's only one store like this :P 

So anyway, today I took my wee doggie to the vets to get flea treatment and make an appointment for his booster shots.  Along my merry path, I met up with Alex, who would be my knight in shining Fiyero to take me grocery shopping.  At the very end of the shopping trip I was all "Ho shit, I forgot I need drugs."  Drugs, of course, take like, 15 minutes for the pharmacist to process, so we decided to prance to the Specialty Foods shop instead of wait.  We paid for our groceries first though... Or maybe we didn't.  Maybe Alex and I are dirty pirates who are in the gnarly ship Fiyero rather than the whole midieval knight thing I was alluding to earlier.  In any case, paid for or not, the groceries were in the vehicle and we made it to the Specialty Foods shop (re: everything azn)

"I've never been to the Christian bookstore."  I remarked as Alex slid into the parking lot.  The two stores are in the same little strip mall, see.  "Me neither." he replied, and drove close to said Christian store.

"What if we set on fire?  Dirty Pagans in a Christian shoppe?"
"What if there's a Christian curse set to repel the Pagans?"

Ah, if only I knew.  Alex and I walked in, noticing not much but a slight raise in temperature.  We ventured into the store, looking at all the Jesus stuff, when AHHHHHH!  We were attacked by a Christian lady who was running the store!  "Did you want me to show you were the shirts are?"  she asked, politely.  That fiend!  She was evesdropping!  My cousins bought 'Jesus Fan Club' and 'Honk if you love Jesus' shirts there earlier, which I had told Alex about.  We started noticing how hot it was getting.  I started sweating.  There was a curse!  I was sweating gasoline, and the curse was going to set me on fire!  Alex and I braved the shop a while longer.  Alex told me he was a sorceror with some other odd attributes, so that despite the heavy hit the curse had given, he would recouperate fast.  I wasn't sure what was with me, so we exited the store.

At last we could breathe!  We walked away from the Christian bookshop, away from the curse and to the wonderfulness of finding bonito flakes at the nice food shop where there was no CURSE.

So be careful, fellow Pagans, because there are some stores with Pagan repelling curses!  I have never before felt so drained!  Alex and I both felt drained and tired and wanting to sleep afterwards.  The curse was like a psychic vampire, grabbing hold of our earthly happiness and wrenching it away!

Next time I'm in a vehicle, I will not honk if I love Jesus.



10 Reasons Why Trick or Treating is Better than Sex

10. You are guaranteed to get at least a little in the sack.

9. If you get tired, you can wait ten minutes and go at it again.

8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

7. You don't have to compliment the person who gives you some.

6. It's okay when the person you're with fantasizes you are someone else, because you are!

5. Twenty years from now you will still enjoy candy.

4. If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door.

3. It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning.

2. Less guilt the morning after.

And the number one reason trick-or-treating is better than sex......

You can do the whole neighborhood!



shoop da woop

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November 2007


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